Yessiree, one of them brave Marines got hisself one of them TERRORISTS. Dude with a beard wearin’ a bedsheet attacked him while yelling “Allahu akbar!” and this brave motherfucker by the name of Jasen Bruce bagged him some terrorist ass, and called the cops to boast about it and tell’em about how he had a terrorist trapped and come’n’get him.
Only problem: This dumbass’s “terrorist” turned out to be a lost Greek Orthodox priest who was just lost and asking for directions. As in, Christian. As in, Greek. As in, having a 1,000 year old grudge against Muslims, meow! Under intense questioning, this Marine reservist (who has been a reservist for 8 years and… err… never served in Iraq or Afghanistan? How the fuck can *that* happen?!) started giving other stories, like, the 5’6″ priest attacked *him* (who stands 6’3″ and is yummy beefcake, meow!), grabbed his crotch, tried to gay rape him, shit like that. Leading to a, what the fuck? moment for this rude kitty, meow!
Go look at that beefcake’s nearly-nude photos up there. If that motherfucker ain’t gayer than the gay mayor of gaytown, I’m a fucking dog, meow! Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, but being gay and so far in the fucking closet that the only thing left sticking out is the biggest flaming asshole gay-basher that this kitty has ever seen short of Rush Limpdick’s tub ‘o’ lard, well. That’s moronic asshattery on a level that deserves some jail time, except this motherfucker would probably enjoy it, given his liking for fucking other dudes up.