Okay, today’s jerkwad of the wee award was a hard one. So hard I had to spend double the time grooming myself to prepare for it, thus the delay in its presentation.
In the far corner, weighing in at 300+ pounds, is Rush “Limpdick” Limbaugh, convicted drug offender and frequent visitor of Dominican boy-whores (though he’s so limp he has to bring massive amounts of Viagra to get it up to pork a 12 year old, maybe he needs to take some lessons from those Catholic dress-wearin’ child fuckers, who never seem to have any problem getting it up for 12 year olds). Limpdick has never served in the military because he got himself invalidated out with an ass pimple when the draft board called his number, but he doesn’t let this stop him from burping about all manners military. In this week’s assholery the fat fucker made fun of President Obama for showing respect for our soldiers by saluting their sacrifice, calling Obama arrogant, at which point a White House advisor said, “I think it’s a surreal day when you’re getting lectures on humility from Rush Limbaugh.” Yeah, the only thing fatter than Limpdick’s ass is his ego, meow!
But yesterday a new contenda blew out of the near corner and rocked the Limpster back on his heels. Joseph “Crazy Joe” Farrah of World Nut Daily, pulling his best Joe McCarthy imitation out of his ass, claimed that an Army psychiatrist going nuts at Ft. Hood and killing a bunch of his fellow soldiers was because there’s hidden Commies err Muslims in the Army who are just biding their time waiting until the time is right to emerge and fuck us all up the ass multiple times while chanting “Allah is Great!”. Crazy Joe even says that the Ft. Hood shooter was one of Obama’s advisors, presumably implying that Obama is not only a scary nigger, but a scary MUSLIM nigger who is just waitin’ to emerge and fuck us all up the ass multiple times until we all squeal “Allah is Great” meow! For his assholery in making political fodder out of a tragedy, Crazy Joe is surely fit to be dickwad of the week.
Thing is, Crazy Joe’s already gotten a Golden Hairball Award, and Rush Limpdick hasn’t. And Rush Limpdick’s long history of assholery surely is worthy of a lifetime award all by itself. So fuck it. I’m going to call it a tie. Thus why I had to spend extra special long time grooming my coat today to generate their awards: