Posted by: rudekitty | October 29, 2009

Paperweights

The modern university:

These Hallowed Halls Of Fancy Book Learnin’
College | Evansville, IN, USA

(This took place in our college library.)

Me: “Could I help you find something?”

Patron: “Yeah, I’m looking for a book.”

Me: “We have lots of books here. Is there anything in particular you’re looking for?”

Patron: “Yeah – ‘Tuesdays With Morrie’. Do you have it?”

Me: “Well, if you sit at one of the computers, I can show you how to use our system and we can look it up.”

Patron: “Never mind, I’ll just look around.”

(A few minutes pass, then he walks up to me again.)

Patron: “I couldn’t find it. Do you have ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’?

Me: “I can show you how to look at our system and see if we have it.”

Patron: *angry* “I didn’t come to college to learn anything!”

Me: “Sir, I don’t think I can help you.”

Three pounds of blubber. That’s all that most of you dumbasses seem to use your oversized brains for, just some grey blubber to bounce around inside your heads. Used to be, there used to be these places called “universities” where you went to learn shit. Nowdays, apparently they’re day care centers to keep kids off the streets for four years in hopes that they won’t eat their crayons and piddle in the middle of the officewhile bawling for mommy by the time they gradjiate. Learning? Bwhahahaha! Most of the stupid-ass motherfuckers out there want to be ignorant assholes, meow!

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