Ever wonder why right-wing assholes have such a fetish about guns, why they get together into giant circle-jerks going oooh ooooooh ooooooooh and ejaculating about how somebody is going to try to take their guns away, even to the point of inventing fake attempts to take their guns away? Well, duh, it’s all about dick. Guns = penises, for these small-dicked wonders, and someone wanting to take their guns away is, like, trying to castrate them! Like most small-dicked wonders, they spend most of their waking hours scared that someone, somehow, is going to take away even what tiny dick they have, leaving them to be, well, dickless wonders, oh the horrors! And most of them probably have more than a little latent homosexuality that they’re trying to deny (can you say repression, kittens?). Take Charlton Heston, for example. I mean, fuck, we’re talking about a dude who made his name by wearing a dress and engaging in hot steamy wrestling matches with other men! Crap, if he’d been born twenty years later he woulda been qualified to be one of the first leather queens of San Francisco’s gay community!
So whenever you see these small-dicked wonders working up a lather about a fringe bill with zero chance of becoming a law, remember what they’re really saying: That they’re small-dicked wonders suffering from delusional nightmares where evil “liberals” cut off their dick, and mostly repressed homosexuals too. Remember: They bought the big gun because they — and the wife — weren’t satisfied with their small one.