Posted by: rudekitty | October 2, 2009

His boss was Jesus, apparently

Office | Torrance, CA, USA

Me: *on the phone* “**** Publishing, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Is Mr. **** in?”

Me: “I’m sorry, Mr. **** passed away last month.”

Caller: “Well, when is he coming back?!”

Answer: he isn’t. Duh. Dead is dead. But that doesn’t stop stupid-ass monkeys from expecting people to come back from the dead. Just ask those “Christians”. They’ve been waiting for their monkey god Jesus to come back from the dead for 2,000 years now and insist it’ll happen Real Soon Now, despite all the evidence that the only way their Jesus dude is coming back is as worm droppings that have turned to dust and ended up in all of us. You’d think these stupid-ass kiddie fuckers would have figured out that it ain’t happening, but crap, never underestimate the ability of monkeys to believe weird-ass shit that ain’t got nothing to do with, well, reality, where dead is dead and anybody who believes someone comes back from the dead is just one insane motherfucker who ain’t to be tolerated in polite company but, rather, is someone to point and laugh at.

But what the fuck, I’m a cat. I have a brain the size of an almond. I can’t imagine all these kinds of bullshits because I got barely enough brain to deal with reality, much less a bunch of made-up shit. The problem is that monkeys keep acting on all this made-up shit and making life difficult for us kitties too. Mreewwwow! HISSSSS! Bad monkeys!

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